Loving girls is too hard, screw constant rebounds

28 Sep

I was too young and immature, never ready for the commitment, never the mental capacity to deal with even the idea of what I had.

Your all constant rebounds, I hate to say it, hate to admit it. Ever since I lost the one girl I truly loved everyone else has been a part-time distraction, a rebound and moving on to the next. Reaching and screaming out for what I won’t ever have again.

Constantly moving forwards, I need to break this vicious circle. I know that I’m jumping between you all because really I’ve never gotten over this girl. Never wanted too. I jump back into another relationship as quick as possible because I never know when I’m ready. I never know whens the right time. Never given myself time to be me, to be on my own and love myself, let my heart heal and let my head find the right track.

I’m not ready for this, I never gave up, I promised I would never stop loving her, and I haven’t I haven’t ever accepted that it was time, there is no chance to make a gesture, no chance to do and know. To feel the warmth of your heart and smile. To hold you in my arms.

I feel sad because I miss what I’ve lost and I’m scared because I don’t know if ill ever have it….I miss you, and I love you. Even if you don’t know it.


3 Responses to “Loving girls is too hard, screw constant rebounds”

  1. slightlyignorant 29 September, 2008 at 10:02 am #

    Not managing to get over someone is tough. But maybe it’s [i]because[/i] you’ve never given yourself time for yourself really. Jumping through relationships while constantly comparing them to that one HER is bound to make you never really get close to them.
    Perhaps a few months for yourself, no dating, just to see who you like and who you are without a girl hanging around could really help!

  2. Allys Stettner 30 September, 2008 at 12:16 am #

    You know, I felt that way for the longest time; feeling like I’d never get over that one that you truly feel you loved. Then I met Mr. Stettner. So, trust me, if you give a break from the rebounds and truly, deeply search for someone with qualities you look for you may find that like myself, it wasn’t the person but the idea of that person. Some qualities you never found in someone before that person, may be found in another but improved. Trust me, there is another that is better than her out there, and she’ll appreciate you.

    And I would know. I’m your wordpress mother and I know shit, y0.

  3. Miss Willow 30 September, 2008 at 8:34 pm #

    I think the other two have pretty much said all that needs to be said here. Forget relationships for now, give yourself time to move on properly and concentrate on the most important relationships – Family and Friendship.
    Try not to walk into things expecting more than friendship and maybe you may find that one day a friendship has turned into much more. They say the strongest love is formed from a good friendship.

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