There’s this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. For so long I’ve been happy and confident. I know who I am and if you don’t like me then I don’t need you. I’m wondering where that foolhardy ability “to just say hi” has gone. I’m on the train, a little wet from the rain listening to more wham. There’s a pretty girl by the door who I’ve noticed smile, very attractive but for some reason this unnerves me. This happened two days ago as well around 5 girls my age came onto the train and sat around me in the same part of the train. Perfect chance to say hi, girls talking about baby names and stupid names. Here’s me “what’s wrong with nice normal name like Alex”, “I like the name Alex”, “so do I, most people call me Alex….might be because that’s my name though” girl laughs and leans towards me.
What is wrong with a simple hello. Instead I’m stuck with this awkward shyness. Probably some form of self preservation.