Forbidden Love and Lust

22 Oct

Love is not the greatest emotion ever. With it’s trixy ways and incredible likeness – Lust has moved to the fore. We now have to contend not only with Lady luck but the formidable temptress of Forbidden Lust.

Talking from experience, I hear “No” and take it as an invite, a challenge, a goal. The power of denial takes hold to such a degree that the confusions between Love and Lust become so entangled that they are undistinguish-able.

I’m certain that we all want what we can’t, shouldn’t have. But I think I have it slightly worse. It’s in my nature particularly strongly to want to be with someone else. To share happiness, joy, and kisses in the dark. Holding hands could lead to a walk down a dangerous path. For the wrenching emptiness is crying out to be filled. This forced separation that I have put on myself, this wall, where I block all my natural instincts in favour of healing a heart, too many times broken.

This stupidity of keeping a distance from anyone I might get close to is seriously battling against my self constraint and logic. Those emotions and thoughts that all tell me its wrong. In words – My Head is once more doing battle with My Heart. And losing, all I really want is that connection, maybe even the certain tingling and warmth that can only be felt from a lovers embrace.


5 Responses to “Forbidden Love and Lust”

  1. slightlyignorant 22 October, 2008 at 4:11 pm #

    Alex, it’s not stupidity at all. It’s human nature. We seem to shy away from things that are good for us and we’re attracted to things that are bad for us. With time and experience we learn to put things in their correct places, but you’re young and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about this. Being in lust instead of in love at this age is natural, almost better maybe, because then you don’t attach yourself to someone who is not necessarily good for you in a deep emotional sense.

  2. Alex Towler 22 October, 2008 at 5:19 pm #

    I don’t know, this lust surely isnt good because its wanton after something that will only cause trouble.

  3. Miss Willow 23 October, 2008 at 3:42 am #

    We have all felt this way at some time, and its one of those nasty little learning curves we all have to go through.
    Weather we actually learn anything from it is neither here nor there.

    Thing of it is, it’s only forbidden because other people deem it so. As you sit there weighing up your options, have you considered talking to “the object of your attraction” and ask her what she wants? You cant help the way you feel and it is unfair of other people to ask you to ignore it.

    The way i see it, you have two choices,

    1, talk to her, ask her what she feels is right and move on from there, or

    2, Mark it up as a no go and move on quickly to avoid the anguish you are putting yourself through.

  4. Alex Towler 23 October, 2008 at 8:06 am #

    Hi Willow,
    I think the issue is not what other people are telling me but what I am telling myself. I don’t want to feel like I am influencing someone who is easily done so (age), knowing full well what would come of getting involved with me. I know that I’m going to Australia in July and this would never be able to be something serious and long term. The choices are obvious to me, its weather I take the upper road and ignore it. Like you say as a no go and move on or tell her. I would quite happily tell her but i keep telling myself it can’t be right

  5. bojinx 18 November, 2008 at 2:46 pm #

    Al I can say is time. In time this feeling to shall pass (if it hasn’t already). And sometimes, you are right, its good to be alone. But you can still be alone, you can have moments where you are not, but ultimately, you go back into yourself… We all need the companionship of another. We are not meant to live solitary lives… but its the companions we choose that make the difference… Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Don’t settle just because someone is there…

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