If anyone here that reads this is on my Facebook list. You might notice that my status is updated more than is healthy.
At times I use that little box to express some of my deepest thoughts, fears and anxieties. I want to open a debate, ask a question, get reassurance or just let someone know how I’m feeling. Every update has meaning behind it, every little push of the button sends my thoughts into the wild and I don’t think many people clearly understand the true significance of some of my posts. Let’s look at a few recent ones.
Alex Towler is concerned about the trap
Posted only just now. I’m looking at my screen and wondering why when all these unanswered questions and insecurities are flying around my head. Why do I box them in, I have something to prove – an image to project. So I trap my thoughts inside my head and try to deal with the questions I know are silly yet I feel this need for reassurance.
Alex Towler is a big gay pirate
In response to comments posted on a friends update I decided not to argue and be a big gay pirate. The comment following, I’d rather be a big gay pirate than a small straight man. Right there was the biggest fear posted and questioned in a rather small and insignificant way. Using humour to cover that a lot of my insecurities are based around my small penis. I’d rather be a BIG gay pirate. Than a SMALL straight man…
Alex Towler is watching Grand Designs
Sometimes though, my posts are self explanatory.
Alex Towler is annoyingly annoyed
Here is an interesting update. I was worrying and getting frustrated, I know that when people first meet me I can be really annoying, I try to reign it in but in essence I still constantly struggle with meeting people. I was frustrated at not being able to explain to people how difficult it is, ask if/how I annoyed them, and learn to be better….
It’s funny how a few sort words can mean so much to someone like me. But don’t read too much into it…