The true guise of an apology

16 Dec

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to say “Sorry” – What I mean is, to say just “Sorry” nothing else, no explanation no meaning.

So many sentences can contain “Sorry” but they all seem to need this addition of explanation. If you apologise I believe a majority of the time you are looking, asking, maybe even begging for a chance to explain, to justify your actions and to, more than anything, forgive yourself.

Here’s an example that might make more sense – Imagine you upset someone in an argument about something you feel really passionate about. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did” – this sentence is hardly ever uttered. In fact you are more likely to hear “Sorry I acted the way I did, but I get upset easily” or something similar

So maybe an apology is not an admittance of guilt, or an expression of repent but in fact a guise to justify our actions.

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6 Responses to “The true guise of an apology”

  1. slightlyignorant 16 December, 2008 at 2:50 pm #

    Wow, I never really thought of it that way. But you’re right, you’re totally right, Alex. There is almost always a “but” attached to an apology, almost always some sort of explanation following. If anything, it should be reversed – an explanation of your actions, ok, but then an apology with nothing after it. A simple “I’m so sorry.”

  2. misswillow 16 December, 2008 at 8:36 pm #

    ‘I’m sorry’ has become a meaningless saying to many people. It’s just an excuse for the person to get along with things and feel they they have sated the wronged person.

    People use it as part of a sentence when they wish to justify their opinion, “I’m sorry but i don’t agree with you”, is one of the typical implications of this saying.
    I feel like shouting ” NO You are not sorry that you don’t agree!” “you are sorry that you are wasting time disagreeing with me, because you think i am annoying for having an opinion that differs from yours!”

    Sorry should only be used if you truly believe that you are in the wrong and truly wish to apologise. There can be no 50/50 blame unless you have talked over the problem and agreed together that the blame is shared. Then you can say “i’m sorry” for your part in it.

    Does that make sense? lol

  3. chloé 17 December, 2008 at 9:15 am #

    as a normal human being i am very guilty of saying sorry with followup excuses for my actions.
    i’ve only said “sorry.” three times in the twentyone years i’ve been alive, i meant it those three times thats why i said nothing else

    it’s hard to say sorry by itself because you take full responsbility of your actions &/or words.

    good discussion piece, hrm did you recently have to say “sorry.” & that’s why you’re bringing it up(?)

    • Alex Towler 17 December, 2008 at 12:18 pm #

      I did recently find myself in a situation where an apology was appropriate. I was thinking about this after and realised that, it’s not that I didn’t mean I was sorry but more that I took the opportunity to justify my actions to myself

  4. chloé 18 December, 2008 at 3:40 am #

    yeah i don’t actually know if i like the whole reading from an iphone thing, i wish i knew the number so i could call it lol.

    someone very near my house reads my blog too i can tell from the ip address; which kind of freaks me out lol

    i could write a book, i’ve experienced enough, but who would by some not-known-girls book about herself & life(?)

    i am a regular to your blog..if you didn’t know haha x

  5. chloé 18 December, 2008 at 12:57 pm #

    🙂 ipod fans, is that compliment(?) i like to know who looks at my blog, i think my household has checked in before, i don’t think they’ve been back though..lol
    i don’t mind with this blog so much because it’s mainly just photography or me ranting about stuff they’ve already heard about 🙂

    *ponders*

    well moresecretwhispers is fueling your views, good to hear
    four of them (roughly) a day are ME..the others are, well everyone else

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