Secret’s are better when they’re shorter

20 Dec

Secret’s are better when they’re shorter

I’m afraid of life,
I’m afraid of myself
I know I’m a hypocrite
I fake emotions that I think I should feel
I don’t care, about anything.

I’m scared of life, love, the future
I don’t understand myself
I want to be this person
I want to love and have romance, stories, secrets, past and present
I care about you all – but sometimes I’d rather be selfish.

I fear that I won’t achieve
I don’t even know my goals
I lust for the wrong things, and people
I want to feel adventure – but everyday is the same
I buy things to make myself feel bigger and better than you all.

I worry that I’m alone
I love this feeling
I’m happy and fulfilled but need attention
I crave for desire but reject everyone
I’d rather be alone but it’s scary

I realised I’m human
We’re all the same
No-one knows me better than me
I don’t know myself
Again, were all the same

It took me along time to realise that. We’re all human and none of us are truly alone. Our fears, ideas, dreams, confusions, religions. Everything – we’re all human and somewhere out there someone feels exactly the same, we all share this fear of ourselves and others and strive for direction and assistance yet confuse and shun those who help us. We can all be selfish and we can all judge. Everyone is hypocritical at some point even if just the once and only a tiny bit. I think we all suffer in ourselves yet I believe in people more than I know. I have faith in goodness and judgement. It’s easy, we all make mistakes. I think we need to get over ourselves but I’m just as arrogant if not more than the next person. I wish people could believe in themselves. I get angry and scared, I get irrational. Fuck! I like to swear. I want to be this good guy. I pretend to be this bad guy. I can’t spell and my mental arithemetic has gotten worse. I’m lazy

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5 Responses to “Secret’s are better when they’re shorter”

  1. slightlyignorant 20 December, 2008 at 3:21 pm #

    It’s too easy to forget that our feelings are not usually unique only to us – because it seems so irrational somehow that someone else could feel just what you’re feeling. But it’s true, and they can, and the point you make is completely valid – we ARE all human, and we’re all full of contradictions, we’re all confused about the nature of who we are and what we’re feeling.

    • Alex Towler 22 December, 2008 at 12:58 pm #

      Thank you guys for your comments. I was feeling particuarly introspective and started writing. It’s weird how true everything really is, how contradictory we really are. As a species we are completly unique and yet the same. All we need is faith, wether it be in ourselfs, others, or generally in ideas and prospects

  2. anonymousteenager 21 December, 2008 at 10:37 am #

    I know this comment will seem a bit redundant, but I totally understand how you feel, I’m almost exactly the same.

  3. misswillow 21 December, 2008 at 11:32 pm #

    I agree with what the other ladies have said . I couldn’t really find any words to add that would be different lol.

    I guess we could take the word from you facebook status and say that human life is just FUBAR lol.

  4. anonymousteenager 22 December, 2008 at 7:09 pm #

    Ladies, misswillow? I am a man! I forgive you though…

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