Ode to Britney, Pubity and Porn

15 Feb

I used to LOVE Britney Spears – I was about 12. There was something about her, the faux rock based music. The fact that all her song’s sound the same meant I could listen to the whole album continuously and not even realise. Of course being hot helped – Obviously this was way before she cut all off her hair. I’m sorry Britney – I jest. But really you were my first introduction to pubity and I thank you, soft core porn that you provided. Sat up on my wall looking down – I prayed to you every night, you were my God. Ok it was mainly for things like chocolate dipping sauce, thongs and all sorts of nasty sex toys, but I pray I did. I wanted you, I needed you, I loved you. Knowing you  looked down on me from on high. The power of bluetack kept you above me whilst I slept, the first thing I saw in the morning and the last thing at night. So this is too you Britney, with Love x

This is a story about a boy named Alex…

Early morning
He wakes up
With a knock, knock, knock on the door

It’s time wake up to,
Her perfect smile
It’s you he’s waiting for.

Isn’t she lovely
This Hollywood girl

And he says,
she’s so lucky, she’s a star
But why cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there is nothing missing in her life
Then why do these tears come at night.

Lost in her image, crazy dream
But there’s no one there to wake her up!
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning
But tell me what happens when it stops?
And they go,
“Isn’t she crazy, this Hollywood girl?”

And he say she’s so crazy, but sexy star
But she cut, cuts,  and shave her hair
I think theres someting missing in her life
She’ll sit and cry cry cry at night

Ay-ay-yeah-eh-eh-yeah

“Best actress, and the winner is…Britney!”

Ay-ay-yeah-eh-eh-yeah

“I’m Alex Towler for Crystal News standing outside the arena waiting for Britney”
“Oh my god…here she comes!”

Isn’t she lucky, this Hollywood girl?

She is so lucky
But why does she cry?
If there’s nothing
missing in her life
Why do your tears come at night

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Ode to Britney, Pubity and Porn”

  1. slightlyignorant 15 February, 2009 at 8:09 pm #

    Yo Alex! Another thing we have in common 🙂 Well, sort of. I used to love Britney as well when I was about 10 or even a bit before. True, she wasn’t a sex symbol to me, she was more the epitome of cool at that point for me, but hey, I loved the song “Lucky”! Used to listen to it over and over…
    Btw, didja see Lucy’s post? Just wondering if you liked the twist I took =].

  2. chloe 16 February, 2009 at 12:36 am #

    BRRRRRRRRRHA 🙂
    lucky lyrics alex version
    that’s quite funny

    i’m the same age as you & so, at my tender age & being a girl britney was my ‘idol’ lol
    i remember dancing in my lounge room to her film clicks; i had her dance routines down pat, which is embarrasing now LOL

    🙂
    oh, how times have changed now i feel sympathetic towards her

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: