Journal Part VI

16 Feb

May 26th,

Journal – I am sitting up waiting for Lucy. I want to talk to her. I’m going to find out what’s on her mind because I can’t do this alone. I’m going to go call her.

LATER

I tried calling Lucy but no answer, straight to voicemail. Is she avoiding me? has something bad happened? why is her phone off? I can’t believe this would happen from a girl who sat by my side watching me and waiting. A girl who hardly knows me. She wouldn’t be ignoring me.  Oh god!

LATER STILL

I can’t believe I was getting so paranoid earlier,  I think it’s these drugs, Lucy said she would visit again soon.

THAT EVENING

My mind is going in circles, I think something is seriously wrong – I can’t reach the panic button, my arms refuse to move, I am writing this at the tips of my fingers, hoping a nurse will come by soon. Help me! I need to hide you, the secrets in your pages are to grave.

May 27th

Lucy visited today, apparently I was found on my stomach half way out of the hall, muttering about conspiracies and acting hysterical – I lashed out at a nurse and they have moved me to a secure unit. Lucy found and brought my Journal to me and we sat and talked for a few hours. I trust her greatly, I need her now but I am scared. I think someone has got to me – these hallucinations are unnatural, like I am being drugged in my sleep. I need to get this story out, but who can I trust where can I go.

I don’t think I can deal with this pressure, Lucy has told me of her parents – a horrible coincidence that makes me fear for her life even more, but, maybe she can help me. Maybe we are stronger as a team, I’ve yet to decide. The doctors tell me I should sleep and I can see how bloodshot my eyes are, a little scrap of glass I found in my bed my only mirror.

R,

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4 Responses to “Journal Part VI”

  1. chloe 16 February, 2009 at 1:13 pm #

    (lol, me to, really)
    yes i do agree with you, sometimes i forget that you guys are on the other end of the world & not actually in my ‘real life’, lol. hrm i’ve contemplated being forgotten, that’s when i strike blogs i haven’t been in communication with for months (lol)
    *hello remember me*

    i do have reasons but i hadn’t thought about it until now. there are (7) blogs on my blog roll i check every day, more than once.
    some i gain inspiration for my photography & helpful direction. others for the amazing words put onto the screen that i can sit & be in awe of.

    one blog in particular reminds me strongly of my brother & the life i’ve watched him live; i reached out, because i would have liked someone to do that to my brother & i figured i could/can help in some ways.
    i’ve gained a friend from my older blog/site, we’ve followed each other for probably a couple of years, she’s wonderful & we’ve been on the other end of the internet via emails for each other during some tough times. i’ve stumbled across sites where i’ve seen myself in someone elses writing, creepy

    why do i read your blog(?)
    your first comment to me:

    Submitted on 2008/12/04 at 12:29am
    Thats got to be one of the funniest, weirdest and clearly obsessive things ever. Whoever posts there Id guess sits in their basement. Not a good desciption but im at work trying to post this out when my manager is not looking whilst liking the sugar from my fingers of the donuts I brought after seein the word on a facebook status.

    made me LOL at my desk at work. so i decided to look at your blog & since then i’ve found myself to keep looking, following your life
    i don’t know if there’s anything in it for me personally, i just like to read what you’ve entered; you seem like a ‘normal’ person just blogging about ‘normal’ things, that’s a very rare find if you’ve ever taken the time to look around at other blogs
    i should have come up with something more exciting but i prefer honesty

    why do you keep looking at my site(?)

  2. chloe 16 February, 2009 at 1:16 pm #

    when you started writing these did you consider you’re kind of having a cyber relationship (though fictional) with slightlyignorant..
    🙂
    lol

    i hope r will be ok & can trust someone enough to share with them the inner workings of his mind
    you always right such good stories

  3. slightlyignorant 16 February, 2009 at 10:07 pm #

    Shuddup Chloe 😛 😄

    I loved this. I’m stewing over some ideas about how to make Lucy’s next entry. I think we’re just going to have to start getting a bit of action in here – after all, if we’re doing a Da-Vinci Code style story, we need some chase scenes eventually :P.

  4. Alex Towler 16 February, 2009 at 11:01 pm #

    heeheh hell yeah SI get the chase scenes going – I mean R has clearly got the Parazelli right on his tail – maybe in the hospital – get him out of there. Woop Woop go Lucy

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