Growing with Grandparents

12 May

I don’t really know where this thought came from, I remember sitting back and watching or reading something and seeing the word grandparent.

Do you know the saying – no-body’s born a parent? or similar, basically saying that nobody knows how to be a parent on the off. It got me thinking that maybe its better that children grow up with their grandparents, because lets face it – they have already done it before? so surely they know better.

I think unfortunately here is where it all starts to break down. Let’s look at old people in general, smelly, grouchy and most of all stuck in their ways. After all, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. So here’s the thought that, being older won’t  make them better parents, they will continue to make the same mistakes because its in their nature to nurture in their particular fashion. The thought is not likely to come to them that maybe they did make mistakes in bringing up their own children so being parental, their little angels are perfect.

So what about children that have much older brothers and sisters? It seems like a fairly perfect middle ground until you realise that, if the older siblings are past the teenage years, or have left home. The likely hood is that the younger siblings will get mothered and smothered. Having their every whim catered to. Spoilt!
The reason I think this would happen is that parents always want the best for their children, what they couldn’t give the first and older child they are more likely to give to the next child. After all, over time they have got used to their budget, they have matured, and could be financially better off. Mistake. Children need to be treated well of course but you can’t give them everything they want, they need to learn some real life values of hard work and intelligence, they need to understand that life won’t just hand them everything they want.

So maybe….just maybe if children are brought up in a small group, similar ages then they might have a fair chance, because the parents won’t be able to spoil them. They will learn from their siblings and peers and the parents learn quicker because the “mistakes” are more likely to happen with more children.

Don’t get me started on only children…I do wonder though if foster children are the exception to these rules and ideas??? Anyone know?

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2 Responses to “Growing with Grandparents”

  1. slightlyignorant 13 May, 2009 at 7:23 pm #

    Hm. This is an interesting post. I think the real trouble is that to become a doctor or a lawyer you need to undergo years of study and get qualifications. But to have kids, there’s no test, no classes, no license, no nothing. I know, I know, hoe fascist would it be if the government required licenses to have kids, and yet – maybe then there would be less children born to teenagers or to people who only beat them or neglect them or simply don’t nurture them at all and don’t care!
    I doubt your theory about foster children is true though – they’ve got their own fucked up issues from being abandoned by previous parents, maybe some medical issues if their parents were addicts of anything, and there’s just the whole concept of never getting ENOUGH attention from the foster parents because there are simply too many children to take care of.
    Raising kids is probably one of the most complex issues one can deal with.

  2. Alex Towler 14 May, 2009 at 7:06 am #

    Hey Slightly,

    Good to be back. I really enjoyed the holiday thanks for the comments re: pictures.

    You know part of me is actually inclined to at least half agree with what you say about a license, but what do you think a marriage certificate is?? ontop of that what would happen with the children born from un-licensed couples.

    I think ultimately our society survives but there is something wrong with the way some children are being raised, especially since you bring up the issue of teenage pregnancy. Whats curious is that in some society and tribes – teenage pregnancy is expected, women are expected to bare child at a much younger age…maybe 15? the difference is that they have a much stronger support network. Because it’s part of their culture everyone expects it and is supportive, the whole life works because its tightly intergrated. In western countries – it’s relatively new and if not totally untolerated it is certainly looked down upon. It’s definetely not encouraged

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