Tag Archives: future

Swing

24 Jan

Something to strive for, a life – not worth to die for.  But only word’s here I live for. Maybe, just swing life away.

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, are we just getting more lost?

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let’s compare scars I’ll tell you whose is worse
Let’s unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I’ll slave ’til the end
I won’t cross these streets until you hold my hand

I’ve been here so long; think that its time to move
The winter’s so cold summer’s over too soon
so let’s pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I’ve got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we’ve had some times I wouldn’t trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I’ll slave ’til the end
I won’t cross these streets until you hold my hand, until you hold my hand

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let’s compare scars I’ll tell you whose is worse
Let’s unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I’ll slave ’til the end
I won’t cross these streets until you hold my hand
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

Mainstream, accessible punk revival song by Rise Against but even so the lyrics mean so much to me. They appeal to my nature and let me dream of a better life. To not worry – to dream of seeing the world. To not let the little thing’s get you down and to know that there is always value in people and relationships.

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Breaking Eternity

10 Dec

Eternity is defined simply as “time without end” alongside infinity it is a wonder that the mind can cope with the concept. Never ending. It blows away my mind to even utter those words. Never ending, it’s the most horrific idea I can think of because it means no goal. No direction, nothing to strive for and off course, constant procrastination. If there were no urgency we would not strive forward.

Time is a great invention, it’s one of the subtlest things I can think off to have such a huge impact. We give ourselves age, we give years, we take a lifetime and break it down until the time seems meaningless, what is a Millie-second. What is ever achieved, what changes, what do we do in that minuscule moment.

It means we can set goals and targets to push forwards because in our hearts and minds we know time is ticking. My 20th birthday hit me and I think it’s actually fully sunk in now. I’m into my 20’s, a concept that until now I never even considered. I’m halfway to 40 and I wonder what have I achieved, how close am I to my goals.

Travel Plans

3 Oct

I don’t know if I’ve written about this before but it came up in conversation again recently and I was thinking about it a fair bit today and yesterday. I haven’t written in a couple of days and it feels really weird, like there’s something missing and I’ve lost an anchor in my life.

Over the past 8 months, I’ve moved out of my parents home. Put a deposit on a flat I’m renting, furnished and decorated the whole flat. I’ve got myself a good job that I enjoy and I’m happy with life. I have somewhere that is truly mine and I can call home. I have anchor’s, I have somewhere to come back to.

My birthday is coming up next Saturday and I plan to have all my friends around me. It’s another anchor in my life. Friends and Family. Familiarity. It’s one thing I strive for in my life. I live on patterns, procedures, numbers….anything really that can be logically broken into smaller chunks and made easier to digest, I’m told this is one of the traits of my Asperger/Autism.

Another trait that I am told I have is that I find change difficult. That’s a fair assessment but as an individual I do things that scare me and challenge me as much as I can.

I have been planning for the last few months to do a bit more travelling. Last year I travelled round some of the capital’s of European cities and immensely enjoyed the experience, its addictive and it helped me learn more about myself more than anything. There really is nothing that can describe the feeling, the exhilaration of just doing it. I know I planned much of it ahead of time and it restricted me in many ways. I decided to do things differently next time….so here I am, 6 months down the line – with no real plan I’m flapping in the wind like a loose flag. No anchor, no direction, just floating around in the ether with a general idea of what I want. I have decided that once the lease comes back up for renewal on my flat – I’m not going to take it, instead I am going to get the deposit back and leave – I’m going to Australia. That’s it, the whole plan. Leave everything I have worked for, everything I have built up, everything I own. Take the bare minimal that will fit in a backpack and go. I have to finish the Visa process and then I’m leaving for at least a year. Maybe when I’m over their I will visit Asia and New-Zealand but that’s all in the wind.

This idea scares me to a point that it’s unbelievable, I imagine the adventure of a lifetime, yet every time I think about it I am reminded of everything I have and everything I will leave behind. All the things I have worked so hard for over the last 6 months/ Year, I will leave. I’ll have no anchors and no direction. I keep talking myself in and out of it.

I guess the main thing keeping me going is that at time’s, I have known that the only reason I have put up with some of the crap and hard times is the plan to travel, to see the world, to learn about it and myself in the process. Adventure…..

Traditions

27 Sep

How far back to traditions really start.

I have this thing I do every week, at least once a week I buy myself a nice cheese omlett for lunch.

Now this started when I discovered there was a small sandwich store two door’s down from where I work in Fenchurch Street, London. I was thinking about this on the way back into the office today and realised that in fact it started earlier back then that. The routes go back years and years and I have slowly spread my tradition at each relevant point – at the moment I have actually somehow got my coworkers following my trend/tradition/thingymabob.

So let’s go back 12 month’s, working in a small area in Dockland’s I used to take the ferry back and forth from work between Woolwich and onto docklands. During this time I was doing 2 driving lessons a week, crossing back every Tuesday and Thursday, it was by doing this I discovered a small cafe about 15 minutes from my office. This is relevant because it led to the “Hot food Wednesday”, being that we only had a crappy little sandwich van me and my pal would make a point of going to the cafe and buying hot food each Wednesday, or at least once a week. I think the cheese omlette thing goes even further back. When I used to cross over the river for my driving lessons I would go into a cafe there, because I knew for fact that they did a great omlette. I remember thinking this years before that when? Swimming with my mum at the pool opposite we popped in for some lunch. This must have been at least 5 years previous.

This is as far back as I can trace this oddness but what if it goes further, what if my mum had her own reasons and traditions for choosing that particular cafe? It really makes you wonder how in control we really are, what if our habits are really those of our ancestors, changing and blurring over time? Could it be that 100 years ago my family had a penchant for cheese so much so it filtered to my brain all those years ago shaping my thoughts and making me opt for a cheese omlette over everything.

It’s Saturday morning and all this typing on my ipod touch is making me hungry. I’m going to go make an omlette 🙂