Tag Archives: insult

MMoM

3 Jun

Whilst I am still very much mellowing in my melancholy moment of madness I have decided to find something to make me smile. A quick google search for “funny email correspondence” brought me to this result. Now, instead of making me laugh it brought forth the feeling’s I consistently have about “people” as a whole. Slightly ignorant, racist and of course cocky, some think they are funny. Others direct their stupidity towards those, whose only concern is to try and help resolve the situation.

In the link we see an email directed towards a police station in the UK. The complaint being that it is very difficult to get through to someone on the phone and the complainee, let’s call him fuckwad to keep his privacy and well being at their uttermost. So Mr Fuckwad decides to email a police station to complain that a bunch of kids or teenagers are playing ball against a fence outside his home. He describes the youths as “walking abortions” and you can already tell he’s the kind of old, grumpy, self serving, self centered, unrealistic, stuck up twat that writes to his local newspaper on a weekly basis to discuss the decline of this country. He probably fought in a war that ended 10 years before he was born, and his sister is friends with the queen.

After a lengthy rant about a simple matter he ends with what can only be considered a rude and peremptory closing of the email.

Here’s where I’ll quote you the professional and polite, also helpful email from his local PC.

“Mr Fuckwad,

I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.

As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

Regards

PC ???

?????????????

Community Beat Officer”

Let’s dissect the email. First line, a polite greeting to Mr Fuckwad. The hero of this particular story.  The second line and indeed first paragraph begins and ends nicely clearly underlining the issues that were raised in the original complaint and reiterating that the responding PC has taken the trouble to read the dribble coming from Mr F’s mouth as he salivates onto his computer keyboard whilst touching his sister. Ok that bit didn’t happen but he might as well be some inbred hick by the pleasure he takes at his inconsistent and obtuse email where he is clearly attempting some form of humorous writing.
The second paragraph in the response introduces the respondent as the local PCSO. Ok so the email is being responded to by the correct person, someone who understands the complaint and also understands the area and the person he is responding to. Our responding PCSO finishes by simply offering to contact the emailing Mr Fuckwad at a convenient time via the telephone to arrange a face to face meeting where they can discuss the matters that have been brought up and hopefully resolve the issues satisfactory.
So, instead of acknowledging the very polite response and arranging a suitable time to have a much closer and personal resolution to the initial, very minor issue. Mr Fuckwad decides that he is too clever for this simple PCSO and will respond with scorn and sarcasm. I wonder why he has such a bad life and consistently fails to achieve. Karma’s a bitch.

P.s I’m lying in bed typing this by candle light whilst drinking chocolate horlicks. It seems to be a killer equation and only time will tell if it has any exceptions.

Internal Monologue’s and MP3’s

28 Jan

The night’s here are still getting dark early. It’s 5pm and I’m walking up Regent Street, when I come to a crossing. At the edge of the road waiting patiently. MP3 going in my ear and being generally happy and focused. The street’s are busy with shopper’s, tourists and travellers. We have business men and women all trying to get home and to meetings. Rush hour is upon us.

The road I am about to cross enters onto Regent street and as such is very busy. I look left, look right and notice a car coming towards us from oxford street very fast.

Suddenly, for reason’s I cannot fathom a lady on my right decides now is a good time to sprint across the road and thus causing the oncoming car to screech to a stop. Did I mention it was raining?

So we have me with my MP3 player waiting patiently, in the dark, cold and wet. Traversing a very busy part of London at a very busy part of the day. My thoughts on the matter were very simple and to the point.

“Stupid Bitch” I said.

Looking to my left I realise there is a women,  standing staring at me. ‘Shit’ I think – Instead of muttering to myself I have made the mistake of saying quite clearly and loudly what was on my mind. What should have been an internal monologue – an insult never uttered. Has turned instead to an unprovoked attack on an innocent bystander. All of this because of my MP3 player blaring in my ear’s, clearly I can’t hear myself think and as such have basically shouted and splurted my thoughts for all to know.

“OMG” I exclaim with my face reddening at the realisation “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that I”
She’s laughing and looks at me “I know, it’s the only way to meet people now days”
“That’s true, have a good evening, and again I’m so sorry”

The moral of this story should be clear to anyone. Be careful what you think, or maybe it’s something to do with the evils and perils of modern technology. You decide.

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Watchtower

17 Nov

It looks like my promised gift is yet too come true and I think it’s easier if I get onto Watchtower at some point to read as much spew as possible and come here with my verbal diarrhea. Assaulting the eyes of many and offending the sentimentality’s of even more. For today however I shall have my little rant.

“A Non: Put a (*) in your name and pass this message onto whoever is online in your contacts list out of respect for the little girl beat to death by her parents

Me: No

A Non: Your so rude”

Stupidity and Campaigns

Stupidity and Campaigns

OK, I think many of you will see why I take exception to this stupidity. How, in God’s name will putting a star into my Name on MSN make any difference, I hate that so many people feel that it’s OK to pass round an email, join a group on Facebook or alternatively, put a (*) in your Display Name on MSN. This is an insult more than anything, this is a failing of the digital generations. We make a stand in our little on-line life’s, forgetting that by taking this “Action” nothing will change, no difference will be achieved. By taking part in these petty “Acts” we are encouraging each other to dismiss the real world, to dismiss positive and affirmative action. We console each other with pats on the back. It’s OK, we know your outraged at this one act of abuse that has hit the media. Don’t worry that this is just one of many. You joined a group on Facebook. Ohhhh way to protest, way to campaign for change, way to spread your word and feelings.

Sarcasm at 7:45, Monday morning.

Why Read?

20 Oct

I was having a conversation with someone this morning and got really really incensed. I was actually insulted by the ignorance of what was being said. Asked what I was doing I told them that I was reading the 6th Harry Potter book, again. To my utter dismay and shock I got a reply along the lines of “Why bother there’s a film coming out for that soon”

Surely anyone that has ever picked up a book, read and article or even seen a newspaper know that there is nothing more powerful and influential than the written word. Surely people understand that a book is so much more involved and exciting. It lets you delve into a whole new world, where your imagination can go wild. Where as film’s are their primarily to make money. They have limits on how long they can be and as such can never contain the twists, turns, plot lines and intrigue that books can. With amazing character buildup, so much so that you almost know the characters personally. Every thought, every whim, every desire in their hearts and minds is open to you and there is nothing stronger and more exciting and fun then that.

Plus, Harry Potter is a good fun story.

EDIT: A post in response to this blog. Judge for yourselfs http://thoughtblender.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/rather-watch-movie-than-read/