Tag Archives: random

Naked Wireless

22 Apr

I recently brought a Bluetooth headset for my IPod and as is only natural have taken every opportunity to walk around my flat naked wearing only my headset listening to some nice misc. Very nice.

There’s no real purpose or thought behind this post really. I’m sitting on the train and feel the need to write. I#’m slightly scared of the swan song….
Writing my last entry without realising would be even worse. But Im happy and relaxed and for once my mind is not running in circles constantly. 2 goals, both achievable. 1 love. Very nice 🙂

Now for the running commentary –

Hopefull a fat person won’t sit next to me…..

6:57 – Sidcup station, large man, pink shirt. Fuck! Terhe’s a gap between us but if some fatty sits down next I’ll be stuck between a wall and a fat person.
Music – Jack Johnson

07:00 – New Eltham Station. Skinny lady, beige coat, metro. Some lttle boy on the front – apparently a 12 year old kiler. What a little bastard!!!. I’m slightly nervous at how close people are, that they could read this. I need some kind of “Don’t look at my screen” shield.
Music – Dirty Pretty Things

07:03 – Mottingham Station. I’m safe. All the seats in my area are taken up but I’m snnoyed that I managed to pick a seat in front of the old lady who would drop coffee by my feet.
Music – Dirty Pretty Things

07:05 – Lee Station. I’ve just realised this train stops more frequently than busses how do I manage to ever get to work on time.
Music – Linkin Park

07:06 – I’m bored of this commentary, going to read.

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The relationship status

2 Apr

3:35 GMT

I think I like waking up at this time with a thought or an idea that makes me want to write so much.

I feel I may have been neglecting my blog for a while so this is me showing her I still care. (isn’t that strange) the emotion I attach to my blog is a female personification. Much like a ship or the sea. I have women at 3am with a need to feel her embrace and respect. Overcome with fear and suspicion my mind aches to relieve some of those worries. So much that I type on my iPod knowing it will generate lots of spelling errors. Knowing that using big words will confuse my phone and end up with a jumbled, ignorant looking post. Well – I can fix that tomorrow. Aha I have foiled the only foible. Now to the crux:

I think I have just pinpointed a curious idea about our social behaviour, the way we interact with each other and I guess this need to keep a few things mysterious. Particularly prevalent in online networking sites ala Facebook. But I feel just as relevant in face to face booking. Hehehe see what I did there?

So the idea, we lie about our relationship status when we feel the need to be accepted by our peers. The best example being “it’s complicated” what a stroke of brilliance.
Those 3 little words are frickin’ genius (like sharks with laserbeams attached to their heads). The words it’s complicated could mean so much.

In fact all these relationship statuses could just be a lie! That’s right, there I said it – when I have been ‘engaged’ for the past year or so. Well it was a lie, when it says it’s complicated chances are I’m single and sleeping around or I’m not single but I’m not making a big deal about it, pretending to the world and myself that I can resist the urge to shout it out. Oh and by the way her names flo 🙂

It’s complicated is such universal and open ended statement. I like the idea that you here or see “It’s complicated” and then just make your own mind up – deciding that maybe they person doesn’t want to talk about it. Or maybe deciding that are gay and ashamed? It’s a sentence that doesn’t actually tell you anything real, solid or factual but our mind fills in the details allowing us to gloss over the missing parts and proceed with the next question or thought, as if we have learned what we asked, in fact. We have learned what we already believe to be true

Masquerading Mayonnaise

31 Mar
Real Mayonnaise

Real Mayonnaise

Real Mayonnaise – Real Mayonnaise.

My only thought worth publishing or writing about recently has happened today. I was in the kitchen wondering what to eat. Looking at Asda own brand mayonnaise and realising I have never seen mayonnaise that does not have somewhere. A label stating “Real Mayonnaise”. Now it got me to thinking. When have I ever not had “Real Mayonnaise”

What constitutes, mayonnaise. What in essence could something be that is masquerading mayonnaise and not real mayonnaise.

I am confused about my food.

A Story about A Man, and A Tie

3 Mar

I get the feeling that I have written about this before but here goes again. The strangest moment I think I have ever felt, or at least one of them – Life is mightily strange after all.

Exiting the LLU (London Underground) i.e Tube. Looking up, on the stairs. A man. Wearing a tie.

Nothing odd, fascinating or indeed interesting in that. Men wear ties? Men travel on the Tube. What are the chances of a man, wearing a tie, being on the tube, at the same time as me!!! Shock! Horror!

I look down. Guy, Me, Tie. Again, I look up.

Our eyes meet across the crowded stairwell and suddenly it clicks. We are both wearing the same tie – we exchange hand signals. International sign language to say  “OMG, Snap!” well at least I did, his eyes said something different “OMG, Uno!” but he was on his own, where as I always have a companion in my head to talk to.

I can only imagine the thoughts that went through his head. But at this moment I am reminded of the curiosity of the moment. A once in a life time experience that both excites and confuses you. This is not meant to happen. The only thing that can come close to this moment is for a woman – walking into a party to see her friend wearing the same dress! Its unthinkable. Especially when I don’t normally wear ties. Life really is strange to throw you into these moments.

I really do wonder what he was thinking, its difficult enough to explain my own emotions. If I didn’t have any self control my mouth would be open, tongue swelling out, saliva dripping down my chest like some snail-trail. Ending part way towards my package and looking like a severe case of Premature ejaculation. Luckily this didn’t happen.

I like post’s where I can add “Sex” words as a tag. It’s always a nice chance to get the pervy gits to check out your blog. Boner on the way and then, sudden disappointment as they scroll down looking for naked girls. I don’t have any pictures of naked girls on my blog. But if you want me to get some Ill happily oblige. 😀

One Tie poem (Clearly stolen):

One Tie to rule them all, One Tie to find them,
One Tie to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

Update: @Girlslashwoman

Some people are never happy – everyone wants the full glory, dirty secrets and details. Another sex tag I think “Kinky tie?” – The tie as far as I remember was unfortunately very boring and plain so I’m now going to lie, I mean bend the truth and give you – SUPER TIE.

The tie I was wearing, some of you might of already seen. It’s hard to miss. I never knew the rainbow had more then 7 visible colurs but according to the lable on this tie, it could “bend the rules of physics, light and all that tosh”, honestly. I wouldn’t lie. The tie is actually one of a set – all based in different and colliding dimentions to make you look the sexiest possible where ever you are. Of course ties are clearly sexy! (New Tag) but this one could produce its own pheromones, making women weak at the knees just catching a reflection of it in a puddle. Oddly enough, it was a christmas present….from my mum.

Fat People and Train Seats

20 Feb

Now I don’t mean to be rude. But when I’m sitting on a train, reading my paper or my book – Maybe listening to my MP3 Player just minding my own business. So now anyone that travels on public transport knows that it’s difficult to get a seat at the best of times. So I love it when I actually find a seat and plot up, cosy my head in my hood and nap until I get home.

So, when a Fat person sits next to me I get really upset.

2 reasons really – the seats are small and hard to get. It’s for this reason that I hate it when a fat person literally wedge’s themselves between me and another person – practically forcing my off my seat and onto the floor. I mean come on – “Did you pay for two seats you fat bastard? What? No? – then move the fuck over or loose some weight!” “Stop killing your heart with grease and donuts!” “Stop growing so many folds of fat that you constantly sweat – so much so that you are soaked and lubed up enough to slide into a seat half your size without even a grunt.

I wouldn’t mind a fat git having two seats if they pay for them! – Here’s a novel idea – Ban fat people on trains, make them walk. They will lose the weight and then can come back on the trains.

Rant over

Just one Secret

16 Feb

It feels like it’s been a long while since this blog has contained anything personal. It’s all me, I agree to that point completely but this Blog is my sanctuary. I have opened it up to you all, mainly as an experiment, maybe a question. But it is still my sanctuary and I don’t like this fear that I’ll end up posting and writing for other people. If you read my posts thank you, if you comment I appreciate that and always try to respond but in my heart and mind this is still my escape. I know now that my family read this blog. At first I was surprised, confused and a bit wary about this but then I realised it was unimportant. Maybe it could be a good thing. Maybe that part of me that is reaching out in all directions is being heard. I wonder if when you read this you stop. You think to yourself that maybe we have more in common then I thought. Maybe you realise that your not alone and life could be worse. I think this almost every day to be honest. It’s like a stuck record sometimes – I will get down and sad – like everyone. But my way of dealing with it is, I can’t be sure but it feels different. I’ll let it get to me, because I can’t stop it. I’ll get angry, I’ll get upset, I’ll get embarrassed but by the next morning, or sometimes within hours I have forgotten the emotions that seemed so relevant and have found a new distraction. By letting these situations get to me I feel I encourage their natural progression – “if you can’t beat em join em”

If I’m feeling sad or lonely at night I get really bad insomnia, I can’t sleep and I find it difficult to switch off, much like now. So I read, I write and I watch mindless programs until I fall asleep. Being able to escape to another world and forget your troubles, forget the echoes of empty halls and hear only the voices inside your head. Those voices that are part of who you are, a conscience giving you hope and direction. Maybe a sense of belonging or direction. To judge and be judged and to make the choices that seem so difficult. I can’t sleep right now. My walls are bare, I have packed almost everything of importance and the time is coming. I can feel it.

I am scared of the changes I perceive and know are happening around me. Yet instead of hiding in a shell I reach out to the fear and accept it. Welcome the worry with open arms and call it adventure, call it a friend and an enemy, challenge it to beat me. I will never give in, I wish everyone had the same energy. Like a spinning top, round and round, constantly moving. The energy to say “Fck It” and to follow their dreams.

I know a lot of people worry about me when they read what I write – they think I am scared? alone? worried or maybe in trouble. Don’t, I am happy and I know what I want – this is what my soul looks like, twisted and confused but forever moving, my fingers typing, writing, expressing the thoughts that run through my head and change direction at the last minute. The ideas that flit into my brain for milliseconds, typed up and trapped. Pinned to the page like a butterfly. Frozen – a moment.

Words, to me. Are like pictures. They can express and convey a moment in time, a thought and an emotion – a combination that will never EVER happen again. Writing is an art – it doesn’t have to be fancy and it doesn’t have to make you smile, make you laugh or take you to another place. It just has to be.

Meaningless abuse of the power that you hold.

The impact of words is immeasurable, to some – you will smile. To others the same words make you cry, maybe just to stop and consider your own life? This is why you should never write for someone else, words are to powerful to be corrupted by greed and control, the pressure of your peers or your readers. They are a link to your soul and your being. If you let someone direct or control your soul then your life has no meaning. Your words are empty, the emotions mean nothing, just a shadow, an echo. In black on white. A shadow.

Surreal Train Experiences

12 Feb

This morning was odd – After getting on the train I picked a seat, sat down and looked up to see a girl about my age with her sleeves wrapped around her hands because of the cold. Pulling a spare pair of gloves from my bag I kicked her foot for attention and offered the gloves. After all I have two sets on me for some reason.

This girl looks at me and starts talking about things in the past etc. Finally it clicked, I had worked with this girl in a small company for about 6 months (3 Years Ago) haven’t spoken to her since. What’s even weirder is that she lives on the same street as me – doesn’t go out in our village much, all the bars are over 21’s. How surreal is that? I obviously said she should give me her number so we can hang out – after all, who else do we know in the same village, let alone the same street….
The response was something about “Do you have Facebook?” – “Do you know my name?”

Question is – Do I add her isn’t this what facebook is for – random liance’ with the girl who always made tea.