Tag Archives: silly

The urgency of the beast

4 Apr

Rushing too, and from – the beast brings to the fore our urgency to obey the strictest of rules, the schedule and the time.

To respect the awesome power and strength, wrought in iron, steel and steam. Electricity coursing through the veins giving this creation life.
Much like the story of frankensteins monster. This is our creation.
Society’s monster, a monstrous engine – with bolts in its head and electricity to power its brain. But unlike Frankensteins monster – over the centuries we have clearly perfected the science of creation.

It does beg the question though. Why are we so urgent to get to or from the train. Is it the size? or the urgency of a meeting. To get home maybe?

Whatever the cause. I am bemused constantly when walking through stations that everybody is rushing. Like little hobgoblins – bringing gold to the beast, in the hopes of not getting burnt alive, burnt maybe to a crisp and devoured by the metaphorical dragon. Bring back the steam engine and watch as the dragon snorts the flame. The smoke rising from the belly of the beast.

Take away the rails and let this awesome creation of science, fiction and imagination roam free across the lands, give back its leather wings and remove its leather seats for surely a creature of this might should not be shackled to its tracks – driven by one small man – up and down the tracks. Life never taking any direction.

Take heed of these words – know that when, and it will happen. When the beast breaks free I hope your urgency to retreat from or enter it’s domain has taken you to a place of safety. For when the beast is free it shall roam and the lands will burn in revolution. One freed will after a time, release it’s fellows. If you go to the COOP for a loaf of bread beware that you may be stalked as prey by the trains.

Evolution and natural selection will leave only the strongest to survive and breed – to change and take over a world we think we rule. Opposable thumbs our only concession in the battle for control.

Listen here, you have been warned!

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Ode to Britney, Pubity and Porn

15 Feb

I used to LOVE Britney Spears – I was about 12. There was something about her, the faux rock based music. The fact that all her song’s sound the same meant I could listen to the whole album continuously and not even realise. Of course being hot helped – Obviously this was way before she cut all off her hair. I’m sorry Britney – I jest. But really you were my first introduction to pubity and I thank you, soft core porn that you provided. Sat up on my wall looking down – I prayed to you every night, you were my God. Ok it was mainly for things like chocolate dipping sauce, thongs and all sorts of nasty sex toys, but I pray I did. I wanted you, I needed you, I loved you. Knowing you  looked down on me from on high. The power of bluetack kept you above me whilst I slept, the first thing I saw in the morning and the last thing at night. So this is too you Britney, with Love x

This is a story about a boy named Alex…

Early morning
He wakes up
With a knock, knock, knock on the door

It’s time wake up to,
Her perfect smile
It’s you he’s waiting for.

Isn’t she lovely
This Hollywood girl

And he says,
she’s so lucky, she’s a star
But why cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there is nothing missing in her life
Then why do these tears come at night.

Lost in her image, crazy dream
But there’s no one there to wake her up!
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning
But tell me what happens when it stops?
And they go,
“Isn’t she crazy, this Hollywood girl?”

And he say she’s so crazy, but sexy star
But she cut, cuts,  and shave her hair
I think theres someting missing in her life
She’ll sit and cry cry cry at night

Ay-ay-yeah-eh-eh-yeah

“Best actress, and the winner is…Britney!”

Ay-ay-yeah-eh-eh-yeah

“I’m Alex Towler for Crystal News standing outside the arena waiting for Britney”
“Oh my god…here she comes!”

Isn’t she lucky, this Hollywood girl?

She is so lucky
But why does she cry?
If there’s nothing
missing in her life
Why do your tears come at night

Let there be love Part 1

12 Feb

This is a posting from the Towler.Tk archives. A silly fun set of stories that managed at some point to lose most direction and humour. Still, you live and learn. They still make me laugh – especially the irrelevance of the title. Enjoy – Spelling,Grammar mistakes and all 😀

*Please note this file contains only fictional events and characters. Any relevance to a living/or dead person and any situation they may have/or will be involved in is purely coincidental*

This is what day dreaming does to you……

The assembly hall was packed, crammed full with 2,000 pupils and not an inch between them.
“Mrs Bonar will take the assembly today, please stand quietly” Miss Gordon stepped away from the podium to the sound of scraping chairs.
The woman strolled into the hall; she looked like a judge with red instead of black and her tailcoat streaming out behind her.
“Please sit” Chairs scraping.
“As I strutted around school yesterday I was disgusted by what I saw.” a metal glint could be seen rising from the podium. She banged the podium with the flat of her hands, Bang, Bang….. The metal object rose higher and a clap could be heard in the distance.
Smoke began to stream in around her feet and she banged again.
Bang, Bang, Clap.
Bang, Bang, Clap.
The lights in the hall dimmed.
The object rose into her hand.
And then it all happened.
Simultaneously multi-coloured lights began to swivel around the hall and a spot light spun round to focus on Mrs Bonar.
Bang, Bang, Clap.
Bending low she grabbed the hems of her robe and pulled.
Velcro straps could be heard ripping open.
Bang, Bang, Clap.
As the cloak ripped open, red, gold and pink could be seen, then the cloak was gone revealing a Lycra cat suit. It looked like something out of an 80’s rock video all covered in glitter and sequins.
Bang, Bang, Clap.
“Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise, playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day” She burst into song.
“You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, kickin’ your can all over the place” Pupils rose throughout the hall and took up the beat.
“Singin'”
Everyone was standing now and the hall echoed with….
“WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU”

Microphone in hand she launched into the second verse and threw herself onto the stage.
That was it Mr Shipley had, had enough. He hitched up his trouser, pulled his white socks way over his ankles and broke into a run. Grabbing the guitar that was conveniently in his path, jumped high into the air and launched into a face melting solo, Strumming along besides Mrs Bonar.
“This is what I was born for” He thought “No more teaching for me.”

As the curtain rose Mr Lloyd could be seen descending from the gangplanks. Smile on his face and drumsticks in his hand he started to drum, his hair billowing out behind him.
Bang, Bang, Clap.

The pupils were entranced, nothing like this had ever happened before.
Bang, Bang, Clap.
Shirts were being ripped off and slogans such as “Rock-on” and “e=mc2” could be seen printed across t-shirts throughout the hall.
The music died away and as “The Teachers” left the stage a strange sound could be heard……drifting deep down the corridors and through the French block. Burying deep into the walls and hitchin’ a ride into the history books.

“Encore, Encore”

Alex Towler

http://www.towler.tk

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Spam Comments – Relevance?

4 Dec

I don’t think I have the ability to structure my thoughts for long enough to expand on my previous ideas. My mind likes to jump up and down, round and round and as such here’s a comment that the Anti-Spam thingy on WordPress found

“Dear Brother/ Sister in faith…

Now a fact is I don’t do Q&A’s but when it comes to religion I leave you with something to think about.

Feel free to browse around:

http://thetruereligion.wordpress.com

I love how it’s clearly targeted at me. I’m a little scared though because I’m sure I never told anyone about the sex change operation. I’m guessing somehow one of the cute nurses thought she’d look me up and found this link somewhere (Facebook maybe?).

Hi Lucy – Thanks for the comments. Maybe we should do coffee sometime? I’m dying to try out the new, er, equipment you and your buddies at the hospital gave me. Send my love x